Have you experienced this on twitter before?
You tweet a short political thought. Nothing crazy or highly controversial, just a thought you had that day. The next thing you know you’re being flooded replies from some random twitter user.
“What the heck, man? Where did you even come from?”
Been there, done that. It’s sometimes fun, but most of the time it’s just weird.
A random (and downright lame) twitter profile image, a confusing bio filled with hashtags, links, text language, and a name that could’ve only originated from some secluded mountain village in Uzbekistan.
Where the heck do these people come from? You can’t tell me some of these users are real people. It looks too much like spam to be taken seriously.
These twitter users who take a moment to grace you with their presence are downright odd.
And, If you’re lucky, you might even get the real nut jobs (think anti-zionist).
How should you react to them? What do you do?
The answer’s simple….
You heard me. Troll those creeps.
“But trolling’s mean and for immature liberals.”
Trolling, if used properly and at the right moment can be an effective weapon. Some people don’t respond well to logic, reason or facts. Some people need to be virtually spanked. Sometimes you need to have some fun.
Now, this doesn’t give you carte blanche to go out on twitter and start trolling everyone. Don’t do that.
However, this will give you an idea of when it’s ok to troll twitter users.
It might be a good idea to mention that trolling can also stand for blocking a twitter user. Feel free to use those interchangeable throughout this article. Blocking is like trolling. Specific situations require blocking and trolling.
What are these “specific situations?”
I’m glad you asked.
I’m going to outline the main ones that you need to keep an eye out for. Some of these I’ve come across on my own twitter journeys, and others are pet-peeves. But you’ll get the idea of why you should troll (or block) twitter users who fall in these categories.
Now, who should you troll? Obviously anyone who…
Uses the “Anti-Zionist” Hashtag in His Profile
Nothing says “I’m a paranoid loser” like a twitter user who has this hashtag in their bio.
The evil Zionist corporations and World Order are coming after us. They’re controlling the major supper powers of the world. They’re the ones to blame for starting all these wars.
Blah, blah, blah….
Be ready for tweets like “The Zionists have taken over [blank]” and “The Zionist world government has [blank].”
People like this have no sense of reality (aka conspiracy theorists). They also hate Jews, which isn’t something I tolerate. So whenever I have a chance to troll anti-Zionist freaks I do.
Has One or More Hashtags in His Profile that Exceeds 12 Characters
Instead of actually saying whatever they want to say they put it in an insanely long hashtag.
Usually these hashtagers (if you can call them that) are of the conspiracy type. Maybe they think people actually find these hashtags.
Or, maybe it’s some kind of encryption.
“Dude, the government doesn’t search hashtags, so let’s write our twitter bios in one long hashtag. That way we’re safe.”
Then again, they could be confused about how to use twitter, it’s not like there’s tons of resources about how to use twitter properly… oh wait!
Uses the “Anti-War” Hashtag in His Profile
This is always a fun one to see.
“Hey guys, look at me, I’m anti-war. How cool I must be right?”
Sorry, but all I think of when I see that hashtag are pacifists and hippies. Neither of which are good by the way.
You might as well say you’re “anti-death.” People will always die, and wars will always happen. Now can we please grow up, see reality, and work toward something realistic? Thanks.
His Whole Profile is Filled with Hashtags
This is beyond annoying, and frankly, it’s lazy. Filling your profile up with hashtags tells me you only care about getting found in search.
It also tells me you have no creativity. That means I won’t follow you. No one wants to follow or interact with someone who’s like everyone else (that’s boring).
If you can’t describe yourself without using twenty hashtags then you’ve got problems. And, your IQ level is most likely not up to par.
Anything to do with the Kock Brothers
The timeless (and tiresome) conspiracy theory of the left. In reality, it’s just a fear of two rich brothers who happen to donate to republican and conservative causes.
Big deal, that happens a lot. Nothing new to see over here.
But, the left persists and it’s become a regular argument against pretty much anything and everything.
“The Kock Brothers and their bottomless treasure troves of funds are controlling the tea baggers.”
Sure they are, buddy.
He’s a Holocaust Denier
I give these people no mercy. If you deny the holocaust, you’re a moron. I’d go so far as to say that you’re the poster child for what a retard looks like.
Whenever you come across these people, troll mode should engage immediately. Holocaust deniers are the scum of the earth and should be treated as such.
I’m not kidding.
He’s an Anti-Semite
Again, activate troll mode immediately. If someone openly says they’re an anti-Semite in their twitter profile then you can pretty much assume they’re dumb as dirt.
He’s a 9/11 Truther
The 9/11 attack on the Twin Towers was an inside job. How often have you heard that one?
As always, these people should be trolled. They lack logic, and I’d be surprised if they’ve experienced reality at all.
Isn’t it amusing how competent they think the government is that it could pull off such a detailed plan? All to go to war in Iraq. Last time I checked, the US doesn’t need a reason to invade another country. We do it all the time now.
Ok, this might seem mean, cold hearted, and immature of me. I get it.
But, twitter is full of insanely weird people who have no business living outside of a psychiatric ward.
Logic defying conspiracy theories, excessive hashtag use, and racism are rampant among these people. How they’re not banned from twitter by now amazes me. Maybe it’s a conspiracy…
Does that mean you should be mean to them at every opportunity? No. Sometimes you just need to ignore them. Sometimes you just need to tell them they’re wrong. And, sometimes you need to use that block button.
Or, you could just have some fun and troll that sucker. What do you think you should do?